PriyaPatelFor polyamorous people, managing finances can be just as important as managing relationships. When multiple individuals are involved in a romantic relationship, financial considerations such as mortgages, pensions, and household expenses become more complex. Each polyamorous configuration requires custom-made financial arrangements to suit the needs and incomes of all individuals. In addition to day-to-day expenses, polyamorous people also need to consider the cost of dating, especially in long-distance relationships. However, polyamory can also offer financial benefits, such as sharing rent and splitting expenses among multiple partners. Open communication about money is crucial in polyamorous relationships, as it is in any relationship, in order to ensure that everyone’s needs and priorities are considered.
Polyamorous individuals have unique financial considerations that arise from managing multiple romantic relationships.
Scott Legault and Petra Jackl, a married couple living with Legault’s girlfriend, found it necessary to refinance their mortgage and add their girlfriend’s name to Legault’s pension and annuity. They also had to divide household expenses based on their incomes.
Different polyamorous configurations have different financial needs. There are triads, where three people are involved in individual and group relationships. There are hierarchical structures with primary and secondary partners, and nonhierarchical polyamory where all relationships are equal. There are also nesting partners who live together and comets who see each other infrequently.
For single polyamorous individuals, dating can be expensive. Haley Slavick, for example, started overspending on dates when she entered into a new relationship, negatively impacting her relationship with her wife. To better manage her expenses, Slavick earmarked funds specifically for her relationship with her boyfriend and had separate meetings with both partners to discuss financial matters.
Travel expenses can be a major cost in long-distance polyamorous relationships. Marissa Barlow, a solo poly individual, pays for her own flights but splits the cost of accommodation when visiting her partner in Seattle.
While polyamory can introduce financial challenges, it can also offer financial benefits. Kaden McPherson, for example, is considering buying property with another married couple to reduce their living expenses. Other polyamorous individuals find relief in sharing household labor and expenses. Heather Reid-Barratt plans to split monthly expenses three ways with her spouse and their shared partner, which includes the added benefit of built-in child care.
Open communication about money is crucial in polyamorous relationships. Polyamorous individuals often have to navigate difficult conversations about jealousy, sexually transmitted infections, and money. However, the openness and honesty that comes with polyamory can facilitate these conversations and help individuals manage their finances effectively.
